Snowed in and Hammered

            Snow is something that I have always found to be beautiful, and fun. Even as a child some of my favorite memories were of my sister and I playing in the snow, and coming in to find mom had put our change of clothes in the drier to warm them for us. Unfortunately those days of frolicking in the snow are years past, and I wasn’t quite prepared for the 16ish inches that came down one night not so long ago.

            We had been told by weathermen to expect a lot of snow, but for anyone who isn’t from Missouri, you should know that Missouri is the only state where you can be a weatherman, be wrong all of the time, and still have a job. Needless to say I wasn’t very worried about the predicted snowfall. I traveled to one of the nearby bigger cities to visit an old friend who had flown in, and I was staying the night at another friend’s house altogether. This story mostly involves the latter; let’s just call him Mr. Let’s Get Wasted. I arrived at the home of Mr. Let’s Get Wasted, at which point he informed me that he was indeed planning on drinking a lot that night. This is something that I was completely fine with. As you have probably realized I like to partake in alcohol, partly for the effects it has on me, and mostly for the good stories that seem to develop out of it’s consumption.

            Mr. Let’s Get Wasted and I went to meet my old friend at a bar. We all played pool, and started consuming alcohol. I was on a pretty great vodka slide, and Mr. Wasted was drinking pitchers of beer by himself. My old friend had to leave, at which point Mr. Wasted and I continued to drink. When we were at an unhealthy level of intoxication, we decided to leave the bar. We made a stop at a convenient store so that I could continue my drinking at his house. I chose a bottle of Moscato of all things, and we ventured back to his casa. Please note that while purchasing the bottle of wine, I noticed it starting to snow, and absolutely did not think twice about it.

            I have no idea how it happened but I imagine that Mr. Wasted suggested our next activity. God knows strip poker isn’t something that I would ever think of to do. So he and I opened the wine and began playing cards. I am almost 100 percent certain that I was the champion and that I had clothes on the longest. Please realize that many men have asked me to play this unveiling game before, and I have NEVER gotten naked. I don’t know if I just refuse, or I keep slipping on new items of clothing, or what, but the serious level of intoxication that I was at on this particular night, fueled my inhibitions. I may or may not have said something like “Well I can’t let you be naked all alonesies!” and then I probably took off the rest of my clothes. The next thing I remember is Mr. Wasted calling me over to his lap. I would like to admit at this point that it had been a while since I had a sexual encounter. As I saddled up on his lap and we started making out, I was hit with an amazing idea.....

            I decided that I was not going to let him have it right away, and I drunkenly decided that we were going to play hide and seek in the dark, and it just so happened that we were also naked. I jumped from his lap told him to count and I ran away. My first thought was to hide in his basement. I ran downstairs and while looking for a good spot to hide in, the motion sensor lights came on!! Terrible idea, I had no clue those were down there. I was found almost instantly. On his turn to hide, Mr. Wasted hid behind a nearby door. Who the hell hides behind a door? I found him within 15 seconds.

           

            My next hiding place was ingenious! I ran upstairs (Naked) and found myself standing in the kitchen. You might be asking yourself, where in the world can someone hide in a kitchen… I was thinking this too. For some reason I started opening cabinet doors, and I happened to quickly find a relatively large and empty lower cabinet. I was able to successfully fit inside, just before I heard Mr. Wasted coming up the stairs. I closed the door and I have no idea how long I stayed in that cabinet. I am pretty sure I passed out, I snapped back as I heard “Elaina? I seriously give up, where are you?” In that instant I chuckled a little, and climbed out to find him standing in the doorway. My laugh caught his attention and he turned around in time to see me crawling out onto the floor. “Were you in there the whole time?” I answered yes, and claimed my second victory of the night. I don’t remember how we got back to his room, but I had planned on sleeping in the spare room that night, and that idea definitely went out of the window.

            You know what happened next so I won’t bore you with all the details. The next day I woke up to leave and there were 16ish inches of snow on the ground. There was no chance of me leaving for an entire day more. unfortunately I drank the only bottle of booze the night before. Mr. Wasted and I spent that day recalling the events of the night before. He cooked for me twice, and we lounged all day watching movies as it continued to snow all around us. Fortunately for me, he had a snow blower and was able to get my car free for the next day when the roads would finally be clear enough for my trek back.

**Being snowed in with someone has proven to be way better than being snowed in alone.

Lady Rule #24:

            When an opportunity presents itself that you think you might enjoy… go with it. Have a good time, and throw some of your morals out the window. Forgiveness is easier than permission sometimes…someone famous said that.

Gentleman Rule #24:

            This man did everything right, he told me his intentions early on in the night. Being a woman I knew exactly what “Let’s get wasted!” meant coming from him, and I made the choice to play along. We had a good time, and that was that. I am not trying to become his girlfriend, and I’m not stalking him now because I want more. We were just two consenting adults in the right place and time. I would like to advise all men to clearly state their intentions with women, so that there is no question about how things will end.