Let us go back, waaay back, to the first story I posted almost a year ago. I briefly mentioned a man I referred to at the time, as the Jackass. I couldn't write about that story specifically because I was still very effected by the Jackass. At the time I still worked with the man. Now I am several states away, and I am on much better terms with him. Since then, having dated a good number of people, that all ended up being wrong for me, I now know that The Jackass quite possibly could have been The One. He also happens to be The One, that ran away. Here is his story.
The Jackass is the one that I will compare every guy to in the future. There I said it. He was THAT amazing (when things were good) and he hurt me so profoundly, that now I don't know how to trust any guys.
I met The One a couple of years out of high school. We were both working at the same TGI Fridays, and we were both in different relationships. In fact The One was engaged, at the age of 20! The One made me laugh, and we started spending platonic time together. Soon, I broke off the relationship I was in, because I felt like it was going nowhere, it was complacent. I also had part of my heart on reserve for this military man, I was waiting for, to return, from Iraq.
One night while The One and I were working together, his fiancé came in to have dinner. The One asked me to go over and introduce myself to her. I was hesitant but then marched my little butt over. Now I am NOT proud of what I said to this girl, however its possible that what I said may have saved The One from making a huge mistake with his future. I introduced myself to the girl, said I had heard so much about her and....I might have said...."why don't you let me take a look at MY ring." as in the engagement ring, as in…. the engagement ring that should be mine....Alright already stop hating me! I had no tact and I admit it!
Anyway I think it was the next day at work The One told me that he and the fiancé had, had a major fight the night before...sort of because of me. They ended their relationship soon after. I just want you to know that I truly feel that no one should be engaged at the age of 20. Also FOR THE RECORD, his fiancé was married within the year to another guy, and I'm pretty sure that they got married on the SAME day that she was supposed to marry The One.
Anyway back to the story. I was pretty set on staying single and waiting for my military man to return home, and The One was trying to sway me with his charms. He pointed out that I was wasting time waiting for someone to come home, while I was missing out on the someone that was right in front of me. That pretty much did the trick, and changed my mind. We started seriously dating.
He was the perfect man in my eyes. Let me take a moment to describe The One. The One had blonde curly locks of hair, dimples and calves that were incomparable, and he was a smart ass. Actually, he was the first in a long line of smart asses that I have dated since.
He surprised me, made me laugh, but most importantly he made me feel like no one could hurt me, he protected me, and I liked that. We agreed on everything, including the idea that; if you are not happy in your relationships, you need to get out of them. Life was great, and I was the happiest that I had ever been.
One night tragedy struck, and The One's life would never be the same. I will never forget the events that followed. It was at that point in our relationship that I realized he was The One. I knew that if we could make it through that terrible time, then we could survive anything.
Soon I made the decision to move to Columbia MO, to pursue my dream of becoming an actress. This was a decision made with the support of The One. He was the first person to really motivate me to move towards my dreams. And so, I moved for school, and by spring semester, The One moved to Columbia too. We continued working together at the TGI Fridays in CoMo, we were bartending, and making new friends. I thought we were going to live happily ever after forever. I thought, and often told people, that I KNEW I was destined to marry that man.
To this day, I don't know what exactly happened, but things started getting complacent. I think he was becoming interested in another girl, and I knew the feeling. It was like The One was giving up on what we had made. I felt him distance himself, just as I had distanced myself from my previous boyfriend. I didn't want to admit that things were going south, I tried everything that I could think of to make it better.
One afternoon, I was showering at his house getting ready to go in to work. I heard him knock on the bathroom door, he asked me to come downstairs when I was done. My heart instantly fell. I knew in that moment that it was over. I got out of the shower and went downstairs where I found him sitting with his head in his hands on the couch. I sat down. He told me that I "didn't make him happy anymore". I sat there frozen, not knowing what to do. I was instantly heartbroken for the first time in my life, and I didn't know how to respond.
The One left the house, and I went back upstairs to finish getting ready for work. I sat in front of a mirror, and it was right there that I lost it. I started crying and I couldn't move, for what seemed like an hour. Looking back on it, the worst part of it was that I still had to go into work that night. There was no one who could cover my shift. As I went in to work, I was very composed holding in my anger, frustration, confusion, and unimaginable sadness. Then it happened...one of our bar regulars asked me how The One was, and I lost it all over again. I was crying at work, and no one knew why.
Weeks went by and I continued to be miserable, I was wallowing. For the first time ever, I had lost the most important person in my life. It had the same effects that I think death often does. I think the worst part, was that I had to work with him. Most ex's you can say goodbye to, and you never HAVE to see them again. This killed me. I attempted to be civil, and even friendly, hoping that he would regret his decision. One night while I was working, he said we should talk, and I was stupid enough to think that he wanted to try things again. I was wrong, instead he told me he had started dating another girl that we were working with, we will call her the Hostess. The news instantly threw me into a shock, I hyperventilated from crying so hard. The weird part was that the Hostess actually sort of looked like me. Same build, same hair, same not beautiful, but still pretty, sort of face.
Time moved forward and I was bitter. For the first time in my life I was very very bitter. The One moved on from the Hostess, to other fellow employees, and I took it all with stride.
The One is currently acting as a man slut, in the city of Columbia, MO. He is waiting for the girl who breaks up with him first, as he is proud to say, that girls never leave HIM. I swear, the girl that does this, breaks up with HIM, will have him falling at her feet for eternity.
Then there was a very funny twist in this story, so try to keep up….
The One was dating the Hostess, while I ventured with other men. More specifically think back to the Wrastler #2. I had a very intense relationship with that man, and then we drifted apart. The One and the Hostess broke up, making me feel a little better about the whole situation. At least he wasn't going to end up married to that girl that he had left me for.
The Hostess and I even became friends, after all we had something in common, the One had left both of us, for other TGI Fridays girls. The One and I were even becoming civil, and friendly again. I didn't care anymore about him being a Jackass. I could call him a Jackass to his face, and he knew it was true.
One night the One and I were bartending TOGETHER, and we decided to go have a drink after work, at the local biker bar, Hawgs and dogs, or what the One likes to refer to as; Pigs and Bitches. If you read the Wrastler #2 blog, you know that he and I frequented the bar together during our courtship.
The One and I walked in, and sat at the bar and ordered drinks. Several seconds later he said to me "Did you see who's across the bar?" I looked up and was not surprised to see the Wrastler enjoying a beverage with some girl. I laughed and said "Yep, that's funny". He said, "No I don't think you saw both of them!" I looked up again, and was astonished to see that the Wrastler #2 was enjoying his beverage with The Hostess! The One and I started laughing hysterically.
We were seated there for about 30 minutes, The One got up to take a piss, and the Hostess came to my side. She said "I'm so sorry I didn't come over sooner to say hi, but I really can't stand *The One*." Then she had the nerve to say to me "…and Elaina... I'm sorry that I'm here with *The Wrastler*. He asked me out for drinks, and I said yes, it's nothing serious, but lets not make a big deal about it."
I was shocked that she thought I was actually going to make a scene or something. I REALLY did not care. After all, the only thing I could think about was if the Wrastler had asked her for butt sex yet...something I could NOT picture The Hostess being game for. It made me giggle.
The One and I laughed off the encounter and the next day, The One texted me that The Hostess and Wrastler had been dating for weeks, and hadn't mentioned it to either of us, typical. Now two girls dating the same guy twice, is a coincidence MAYBE, but later that summer, I moved away to Iowa for the summer, and one very late night, I received a phone call. It was The One. Now think WAY back to a blog entitled: My Not So Imaginary Boyfriend. The One called me from the bathroom, at Pigs and Bitches to tell me that The Hostess was there with MY not so imaginary boyfriend!!!! What was going on with the world? Are the Hostess and I the same exact person or was she just serial dating all of my ex's? I still do not know.
I still to this day talk to The One, it's sad to say but he is the only person, sometimes, that I can talk to. He was the first person to give 100% support of my dream in becoming an actress, and I can call him for a pep talk at any time. I love him. I sometimes dream of the day our worlds will collide again. I know that we will be two completely different people at that point in time, and maybe it wouldn't work, but he always told me to follow my dreams, and its strange, but here I am in the big city, following my "dream" and I think maybe my Dream has changed...
Lady Rule #1
If you find yourself heart broken by the guy who you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with, spend the appropriate amount of time in mourning. Then date, serial date, and be thankful that that ONE showed you, what, TO and what NOT to look for in your future mate. And if some girl starts serial dating YOUR ex's....I have no idea what you should do...laugh at it? That's what I have been doing!
Gentleman Rule #1
If you are thinking of dumping your long-term girlfriend, don't do it on a day when she will be going to work. She might need up to a week of lying in bed watching sappy movies crying, to get over you, but undoubtedly she will need at least that DAY to sob. Also don't give her MORE heart wrenching news while she is working, that is what I call, poor form.
Here is a photo of The One and Myself years ago, it might be the only digital photo I still have of us together! It was from back when we were happy, and it was taken on one of my very favorite nights! The night The One paid a man to allow me to drive his rickshaw in downtown Springfield MO!
