This is a story from a long time ago, that I had forgotten about until recently. I actually don't know why it has taken me this long to write it. I met a man at TGI Fridays, where I worked at the time. I had just had the brilliant idea that I was going to start mass dating in order to write the fascinating blog you are currently reading.
I was at work talking about the pledge I was taking, to accept any and all date offers, in order to get some good stories. There was a pretty boy sitting at my bar listening contently with his older co-worker. He laughed off my plan, and said "Well why don't you just go out with me, then you will never have to date again!" I laughed at his confidence. I had been with a borderline cocky guy before, and I had to admit that I liked it. His older friend put in a good word for him, and I was ready to see what this guy had to offer.
We were having lovely conversation which started with him telling me what he did, he sold Snyder's Pretzels to companies, and encouraged the companies to add extra Snyder's displays in their stores. This didn't get me going or anything, but I thought, it's the beginning to what COULD be a good story. So he asked me out, and shockingly I accepted.
His date was pretty unoriginal. He took me to....Dinner and a movie! I know, gag. Where is your creativity guys? A date doesn't have to cost anything but please be creative! Our date was pretty boring and normal, until he was taking me back to my car, which was located at his aunt's house, where he was currently living. Don't get me started on that one. We were lingering outside the cars and he asked me to come in. He said he wasn't making a move, he just wanted to show me something. For the fact that it might be a good turn of events for my story I agreed. He took me inside, and poured me a glass of wine, then took me to a patio. There was a small space outside that was walled on all sides about 9 feet high, without a ceiling. It was actually gorgeous out there. It was a colder night, the weather was changing from mid-fall to winter. We sat out under the stars with our wine for a little while, long enough for me to get cold. He went inside, and re-emerged with a blanket and more wine. I must say that he was scoring some major points. We could have just done THAT all night, and skipped the movie, or dinner. Anyway I was not a slut at that point in time, so I politely excused myself to retire home for the evening, where I am sure I ate leftovers in bed, while watching a romantic comedy.
This pretzel man let me go three days without a phone call or text message. Ass. I told him I was "busy" when he finally asked me out, but suggested some other day. We met at a bar and had a drink. It was harmless, and I could feel the attraction growing, but I still was not comfortable with him yet. Something about him said "I'm a total ladies man, and you should be dying to sleep with me right now." Well I wasn't. Pretzel man kept visiting me with his older co-worker friend, at Fridays, while I worked.
Turns out his older co-worker friend was from out of town, and was staying in a hotel located in the Friday's parking lot. I guess Snyder's pretzels reserved this room for extended periods of time, because they often had employees from out of town needing a place to stay. One night after Pretzel man took me out for drinks with his friends, he asked me if I felt like being bad. Now when some slightly attractive cocky man asks this question of you, you should probably think twice about your answer. Being slightly intoxicated is the excuse I will use for the response I made that night. "Fuck yeah" I said! Next thing I knew we were in his truck, and we were sitting in the parking lot of the hotel and TGI Fridays. He said his coworker was out of town for the night, and the hotel room was available. I was instantly scared. He said he made friends with the guy at the front desk, and that he could get us into the room.
This is the situation that made me create the infamous quiz. I knew that I didn't really WANT to have sex with this guy. Remember when I said that he was sort of a cocky ladies man? Anyway in my intoxicated state I decided then and there that if he could answer 3 out of 5 questions about me, of my choosing, then I would have sex with him. To my surprise he WAS able to answer 3 out of 5 of the questions, so he couldn't be THAT bad right? I think he thought that the quiz was some sort of foreplay too. Anyway I gave in, I admit I am slightly ashamed, but just slightly, after all, I'm a lady of my word. I will also admit that he made me try positions that night that I was afraid of, which makes his nickname, Pretzel Man, quite appropriate. I was not comfortable with his wild side in the sack, on top of his cocky, asshole persona, so he didn't last much longer than that. Pretzel man made my "number" go from 4 to 5. I think it was high time that at age 23, my number started increasing. 23 was a good year for increased numbers.
I actually ran into him one final time. Right before I left Columbia, I ran into him at my favorite karaoke bar, he was wasted and dedicated a song to me. How sweet. Too bad he was a terrible singer.
Lady Rule #8
Unlike me, you should stick to your gut about your impressions of a guy. Wait a minute. Do whatever you want! I don't regret my time with Pretzel man, it opened my eyes to my options that are out there!
Gentleman Rule #8
Be creative for a first date! First impressions are everything, and if you put some thought into making a girl's first date a memorable one, chances are, you are the kind of guy she will give into, even though it might be a couple dates later.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Mr. MIA #2
I was beginning to think that California was not for me, that there was nothing but filth, no one had manners, and the guys wanted Barbies. I still think all of those things, but for a period of about two weeks, it all disappeared.
I was at a packed bar watching my home team win the World Series. There were about 20 fans, and all of US were going crazy, screaming for our team, while everyone else in the crowded bar sat watching us, defeated. The Cardinals fans all came together for a commemorative photo. That is where a bearded man caught my eye.
He approached me and told me he was from Kansas City, MO. I instantly felt a connection to him, and we had easy conversation. He told me not to leave the bar without his number, and I didn't. Later that night, he text me about making plans for the following night.
The following night, I met him at his apartment, and he was just as I had remembered him in my partially drunken state. He was tall, double my size (which is perfect considering my current state of self consciousness), he had lots of scruff, and a sleeve of tattoos. I hopped into his truck, YES truck (so sexy) and away we went.
He took me to a fun place where there were bars, shopping, and various outlets of entertainment. He suggested that we do a little indoor sky diving, and at first I thought he was joking, but it turns out he wasn't. We approached a giant tube shaped structure, and he tried explaining how it worked. I have to admit I was a little nervous about it, but said I would think it over. We wondered down to a piano bar, which happens to be one of my favorite kinds of places to go, and everything was going great.
This man opened my doors, led the way through the crowd, and asked me just the right amount of questions. We were hitting it off great! I have never had instant chemistry with someone the way we had that night. We agreed on most every topic of conversation, and it felt comfortable.
I felt comfortable enough with him, that I said "Hell yes I will try indoor skydiving!" We wondered back to the main attraction. We quickly went through the training video, my date had done this a hundred times, and was a complete pro. We got suited up into the most ridiculous outfit for a first date, and in the tube I went! I had the greatest time! *I would fully recommend everyone doing this if you have the opportunity.
We went home for the evening and made plans for the very next day. He took me out again, we wondered around an outdoor mall, and went to a movie. Conversation again was really great! He mentioned wanting to take me to San Diego to see his favorite 80's cover band, making a weekend of it. He talked about his parents coming into town "No pressure" he said. I THOUGHT that everything was going great. He even took me to the studio where he works, and introduced me to the world of an audio/film engineer! That night when we went back to his place, he played guitar and sang to me. Not only was this guy turning out to have the same values as me, but he was ultra talented as well.
The next night we had a laundry date that entailed us in sweatpants, and me hanging out while he did laundry. Things got hot and heavy, and I have to say I felt no need for a quiz! I felt THAT comfortable with this guy. I knew that he had been listening to me, and was thoroughly interested.
Things were moving along swimmingly, we were still talking via phone, but it was the work week at this point, and he worked really long hours. Our conversation during the day was mainly via text, which I find to be a terrible thing. I truly prefer phone conversation to text conversations. Anyway one day midweek I sent him a text asking when he was going to take out this smart, witty, pretty, funny, girl that he had recently met. He said "You just don't give it a second do you?" and I replied that I typically get what I want, and I was just trying to ensure that I did this time. He said we would talk soon, he called me at 2:00am that night while I was sleeping. I returned his call the next day, he didn't answer, and never called me back. Finally a week later I sent him a final goodbye text. You know something like "You were great, I don't know what happened, find happiness" that simple. He replied saying that he didn't know why he started ignoring me, and now we have been texting a little back and forth. Who knows where it will go. I am going to give him some space and try to not think about it.
Now did things move to fast? It was this guy who had made all of the comments about future plans, meeting parents, and weekend getaways. Isn't that what the girl usually does? Immediately jumping to babies, and 10 year plans? I don't know how we screwed this up. WE not I. Once again I am saddened by these Californians. Here I go again, out scouring the world for the perfect mate.
P.S.
I am continually perplexed by the male species. This is not the first case of a man going MIA in my life, just recently a man I cared for a lot, decided to ignore me out of HIS life, and I just do not understand what it's all about. Why don't they have the balls to tell me that they don't want to see me again, instead of ignoring me out? You culprits know who you are...don't do this, its cowardly.
Lady Lesson #20:
If a guy is totally into you one day, and then completely ignores you the next, you have two options.
Option one: Do nothing, get over it, go out dancing to feel better, and move forward with your life.
Option two: Go a little Glenn Close on his ass, stalk him, and give him a decent reason for ignoring you! (I've always wanted to try option two, maybe next time!)
Man Lesson #20:
If for some reason you decide that you don't want to pursue a girl anymore, then be a man find the courage, and tell her what the hell is up! Don't you DARE leave her thinking that it was HER fault, and wondering what she did that made you flip the switch! If it WAS something that SHE did, put it nicely, but at least tell her! I am an adult, I could handle the explanation, a lot better than the silence.
I was at a packed bar watching my home team win the World Series. There were about 20 fans, and all of US were going crazy, screaming for our team, while everyone else in the crowded bar sat watching us, defeated. The Cardinals fans all came together for a commemorative photo. That is where a bearded man caught my eye.
He approached me and told me he was from Kansas City, MO. I instantly felt a connection to him, and we had easy conversation. He told me not to leave the bar without his number, and I didn't. Later that night, he text me about making plans for the following night.
The following night, I met him at his apartment, and he was just as I had remembered him in my partially drunken state. He was tall, double my size (which is perfect considering my current state of self consciousness), he had lots of scruff, and a sleeve of tattoos. I hopped into his truck, YES truck (so sexy) and away we went.
He took me to a fun place where there were bars, shopping, and various outlets of entertainment. He suggested that we do a little indoor sky diving, and at first I thought he was joking, but it turns out he wasn't. We approached a giant tube shaped structure, and he tried explaining how it worked. I have to admit I was a little nervous about it, but said I would think it over. We wondered down to a piano bar, which happens to be one of my favorite kinds of places to go, and everything was going great.
This man opened my doors, led the way through the crowd, and asked me just the right amount of questions. We were hitting it off great! I have never had instant chemistry with someone the way we had that night. We agreed on most every topic of conversation, and it felt comfortable.
I felt comfortable enough with him, that I said "Hell yes I will try indoor skydiving!" We wondered back to the main attraction. We quickly went through the training video, my date had done this a hundred times, and was a complete pro. We got suited up into the most ridiculous outfit for a first date, and in the tube I went! I had the greatest time! *I would fully recommend everyone doing this if you have the opportunity.
We went home for the evening and made plans for the very next day. He took me out again, we wondered around an outdoor mall, and went to a movie. Conversation again was really great! He mentioned wanting to take me to San Diego to see his favorite 80's cover band, making a weekend of it. He talked about his parents coming into town "No pressure" he said. I THOUGHT that everything was going great. He even took me to the studio where he works, and introduced me to the world of an audio/film engineer! That night when we went back to his place, he played guitar and sang to me. Not only was this guy turning out to have the same values as me, but he was ultra talented as well.
The next night we had a laundry date that entailed us in sweatpants, and me hanging out while he did laundry. Things got hot and heavy, and I have to say I felt no need for a quiz! I felt THAT comfortable with this guy. I knew that he had been listening to me, and was thoroughly interested.
Things were moving along swimmingly, we were still talking via phone, but it was the work week at this point, and he worked really long hours. Our conversation during the day was mainly via text, which I find to be a terrible thing. I truly prefer phone conversation to text conversations. Anyway one day midweek I sent him a text asking when he was going to take out this smart, witty, pretty, funny, girl that he had recently met. He said "You just don't give it a second do you?" and I replied that I typically get what I want, and I was just trying to ensure that I did this time. He said we would talk soon, he called me at 2:00am that night while I was sleeping. I returned his call the next day, he didn't answer, and never called me back. Finally a week later I sent him a final goodbye text. You know something like "You were great, I don't know what happened, find happiness" that simple. He replied saying that he didn't know why he started ignoring me, and now we have been texting a little back and forth. Who knows where it will go. I am going to give him some space and try to not think about it.
Now did things move to fast? It was this guy who had made all of the comments about future plans, meeting parents, and weekend getaways. Isn't that what the girl usually does? Immediately jumping to babies, and 10 year plans? I don't know how we screwed this up. WE not I. Once again I am saddened by these Californians. Here I go again, out scouring the world for the perfect mate.
P.S.
I am continually perplexed by the male species. This is not the first case of a man going MIA in my life, just recently a man I cared for a lot, decided to ignore me out of HIS life, and I just do not understand what it's all about. Why don't they have the balls to tell me that they don't want to see me again, instead of ignoring me out? You culprits know who you are...don't do this, its cowardly.
Lady Lesson #20:
If a guy is totally into you one day, and then completely ignores you the next, you have two options.
Option one: Do nothing, get over it, go out dancing to feel better, and move forward with your life.
Option two: Go a little Glenn Close on his ass, stalk him, and give him a decent reason for ignoring you! (I've always wanted to try option two, maybe next time!)
Man Lesson #20:
If for some reason you decide that you don't want to pursue a girl anymore, then be a man find the courage, and tell her what the hell is up! Don't you DARE leave her thinking that it was HER fault, and wondering what she did that made you flip the switch! If it WAS something that SHE did, put it nicely, but at least tell her! I am an adult, I could handle the explanation, a lot better than the silence.
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